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Knights of Reason - Forums • View topic - Need a friend?
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Need a friend?

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lae

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Post Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I can tell.

lae@rizon/freenode
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ILikeMilk

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Post Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:28 pm

Re: Need a friend?

well, i guess this is goodbye maro it was nice knowing you.
go out with a bang will you.

pun intended
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maro_1

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Post Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:23 pm

Re: Need a friend?

at least i die from something i enjoy <3

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QweefZilLa

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Post Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:33 pm

Re: Need a friend?

You taking a big sausage that's poking yr overys ?
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maro_1

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Post Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:34 am

Re: Need a friend?

it's more like eye sex that gets my ovaries boiling. like my sig, that's ovary exploding material.

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MeatWad490

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Post Sat Oct 26, 2013 8:44 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I"ve been feeling terribly alone for a while. I try to occupy myself when I'm out of work by doing hobbies such as drawing, reading, and projects but I'm doing it all alone. I haven't done anything with anyone I know about 3 months. I even been ignored by people I know not getting back to my messages on my phone.

I'm not the type of person to start a conversation anymore because of that reason. I growing sick of being ignored and alone. At the same time I bare a grudge against almost everyone ignoring me.
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QweefZilLa

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Post Sat Oct 26, 2013 11:44 pm

Re: Need a friend?

^ got you beat over a year here, idc tho got health issues to deal with.
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MeatWad490

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Post Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:45 pm

Re: Need a friend?

How do you coupe with something like that? Not doing anything with anyone for such a long time. I'm just sick of it.
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Shadow

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Post Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:00 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I could give you some advice, but honestly I don't do anything with people by choice, not because I was forced into that predicament. I choose to isolate myself, and I enjoy it tbh.
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Alex

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Post Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:50 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I understand you at some point, I know the feeling when people that you've been hanging out with for a long time somehow stop talking to you/seem to have a sudden disinterest for you/dread for you.
Of course, that is all about finding the right person. There will always be the ones that disappoint you (and that doesn't even have to relate to you, nessecarily... I, for example, was very close with a friend, but I sent her away because I was too egoistic to understand her in a specific situation. That had less to do with her than with me...).
And there will once be the ones that understand you and accept you the way you are, they will accept the little issues/flaws of your personality and rise above those, but those are hard to find... One thing I can tell you for sure is that once you got this person, be sure not to take their presence for granted and do everything to keep the relationship up.
People will disappoint you, that is, from what I've learned, in our nature... But don't lose hope on finding that one person, I know they're there. Don't worry much about those leaving you alone, they're not worth the effort. Of course they are good people on the inside, but they have yet to discover themselves... Forgive when forgiveness is appropriate.

I sometimes enjoy being alone, even when there is not much to do to occupy myself. Sometimes I just lay there listening to my breath, my thoughts (and then realize how dumb they are at times :P) the sounds of my surroundings.. But I know the feeling of being alone and bored and sad. It's terrible. Especially when you have no one to call. Take a shower or do push-ups until you faint, that usually helps me.
Also I would suggest to talk to some of your older friends. They might have changed and be interested in you by now, just remember that sometimes when people treat you with unacceptable behaviour, it's not because they're dicks but because they are even sadder than you would think...
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QweefZilLa

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Post Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:41 am

Re: Need a friend?

I play video games without them I'd go nuts you gotta find a game you can play 24/7 I guess ... And be friendly enough that people always wanna play with you ... Other than that I just put up with it nothing I can do to change my situation ...
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Robmanx

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Post Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:13 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Glad to see we all started sharing again! It's something nice!

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Fox_One

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Post Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:02 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Meatwad, I've been dealing with similar feelings myself lately. There are a few things I've learned that you may find some usefulness in.

First, I recommend you read over Wikipedia's bit on . The point of this is not for you to decide which one you are - evidence suggests everyone is a little of both - but rather to help you understand where your feelings are coming from.

Understanding yourself is the key, I think. Any problem can be approached logically, though admittedly it is extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible, to solve emotional issues with logic. I'm not going to suggest a solution because I don't have one. However, I have found that understanding why I feel the way that I feel helps me to deal with it. You should try to answer, 'What am I feeling right now?', 'What do I believe are the reasons (generally it's not any one thing, but a combination of things) for this feeling?' and 'What do I think might change this feeling?'

Second, you should accept that everything in life is temporary. Success, failure, friendship, love, hate, and the loneliness you're trying to deal with now - everything has its time.

Thirdly, you should find something in your life that is stable and helps to center you. Something that you're comfortable with anytime. Personally, I find that spending time reading a good book brings other things into focus for me. It's helpful if this stable point is something personal to you that doesn't depend on other people, but that's not a must. Anyway, finding something that you can hold onto that you don't have to worry about is important.

Finally, you should make a change in your life that attempts to take you in the direction of altering the causes of your negative feelings. Go out and be with people, even if you don't really feel like it. And don't scowl at them. You won't find someone to talk to without some effort.

You can always find a sympathetic ear here, but this isn't the same as talking to another person face to face, and it can't fulfill those kinds of needs.

Your objective is internal peace. It's not fast or easy to find, but it is achievable. Think, decide, then act.
I've been worrying
- that my time is a little unclear
I've been worrying
- that I'm losing the ones I hold dear
I've been worrying
- that we all
- - live our lives
- - - in the confines of fear
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Metroidude

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Post Sun Nov 10, 2013 2:42 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I think I know how you're feeling, Meat. I hate being ignored too, and a lot of people ignore me.
A lot of what Fox is saying is true. What I try to do to cope with it is trying to talk to people. I find that to have a good friendship, you have to be interested in the other person, and then they'll be interested in you.
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ViruS

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Post Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:19 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Just wondering, do these feelings correspond to you?
http://s.quickmeme.com/img/c7/c77962665 ... c0496c.jpg
(I didn't put the [img] brackets because it's very huge)
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Razor

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Post Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:06 pm

Re: Need a friend?

@alex i just went through something similar and man it really sucks. I have this student of mine(just a 2-3 year age difference) whom i became very close to and i shared to her my problems and all, but then one day she just asked me to give her space for some unknown reason. It really hit me hard since i'm the type of guy who's mind is somewhat parallel to what a girl's mind is. I'm not gay, it's just hard to explain here what i just said hahaha but anyways i had a hard week because of that. problems keep piling up and i just didn't know what to do :( i'm starting to feel okay bit by bit thanks to God's help and hopefully i can get back on track before Christmas :)
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Alex

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Post Thu Dec 12, 2013 4:02 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Wow, I can't believe it's actually this long ago that I posted...

Now, one thing I learned from the whole story with the girl is to keep your feelings distant. Basically, if she does anything that bothers you, don't fucking worry about it (unless talking about it with her helps, which in my case never really did...). I have yet to understand girls, but while I'm still getting experience I find it best to keep my feelings distant and if she ever screws you, it doesn't touch you the way it should. Especially for me, who gets extremely emotional and veeery easily hurt.
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Razor

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Post Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Need a friend?

well she's a close friend and i know she's not like that. i feel that she just caved in from the pressure that everyone was giving her. i feel that we'll get to talk about it in the near future. but thanks alex :)
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Fox_One

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Post Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:24 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I lost a friend last week, and I just kind of need to talk about it.

It's very strange, actually. He isn't dead, but... he isn't the person that he was.
I'm still serving in the Navy, and I'm currently aboard a ship. We're currently on deployment, on the Asian side of the Pacific Ocean. My friend works (worked) with me on the ship, and we've been close because we share a lot of interests - computers, video games, science fiction... you guys would probably like him. I've known him for three years now, met his wife and his little girl... we've solved problems together, worked long hours, done some fairly strenuous manual labor (it's the military), and spent a lot of time just talking.

Last week he started talking about how he thought everyone on the ship had turned against him. He said he didn't trust anyone except myself and the two other people in our work center (our work area on the ship). He stayed in our work center all the time (it has a security lock because we work on classified computer systems), and wouldn't go anywhere else on the ship without one of us being with him, and he wanted someone to always stay with him in the work center. If anyone came in, he would ask "who is it? who's here?"

This isn't a guy I've known to be prone to fear. He's older than I am, and much more social. In fact, he always seemed confident and basically stable, emotionally. He wasn't someone you'd expect to crack under pressure. This is our second deployment together, and I've seen him handle more difficult things without apparent problems. Hell, he's got two kids now.

One morning, just a few days ago, he was found cutting his arm with a knife. When it was taken away from him, he pulled out another one and continued what he was doing. We took that one away too, and rushed him over to the ship's medical center. He was flown from our ship to the aircraft carrier we're deployed with a few hours later. The Navy takes any instance of self-harm very seriously, so he'll be getting treatment and probably won't come back to our ship.
While he was packing out (under supervision) he kept talking about how he didn't feel safe, and didn't expect to see any of us again. He gave me something that I know had personal, sentimental value to him... and that worries me, because it makes me think that he believed he wouldn't use it anymore and he wanted to give it to someone who would appreciate it... and frequently, if someone believes something to be true, they find a way to make it true.

My friend... well, he was someone whose judgement I trusted, and now I find myself questioning my own judgement... I watched him disintegrate in fear and paranoia and I can't point to anything that might be the reason for it. I don't think there is anything for him to fear, not from anyone in the Navy... I think it's far more likely that he's projecting his fear onto what's around him. It's been less than a week since the whole thing started, but I think he's probably been living in fear longer than that, and it's just recently that he couldn't deal with it anymore. What he had to be afraid of, I don't know.

In retrospect, he wasn't cutting himself because he was actually trying to kill himself. He's smart enough to know that where he was cutting wouldn't be life-threatening... even if he wasn't rational, he's not stupid. No, it seems like he felt backed into a corner, and cutting himself was a cry for help and a way out...

I'm not sure if it will ever make sense. I'm not sure how this is going to affect his family. I'm not sure I'll ever get to really talk to him again. I doubt he'll ever be the person I used to know again.
So, the friend I had is gone, and there's just a question mark and frustration where he used to be.
I've been worrying
- that my time is a little unclear
I've been worrying
- that I'm losing the ones I hold dear
I've been worrying
- that we all
- - live our lives
- - - in the confines of fear
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Alex

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Post Mon Apr 11, 2016 9:47 am

Re: Need a friend?

This is the first thing that popped up in my head when reading the story from an outside, emotionally unattached point of view: Have you considered that maybe he's trying to get out of the Navy by pretending a mental illness?

I don't know your friend, but from what you said about him being a very stable and tough person, maybe he just didn't want to serve in the Navy any more. I don't know about how it works with the Navy in the US about quitting and stuff, but this would actually make sense, regarding him being flown out. Maybe he needed to get out of this environment (to take car eof his family maybe?), and he probably knew that self-harm is treated very seriously by the Navy, like you said.
This might sound absurd but it's definitely a thing you should take into consideration, especially as you've only known him since you're on the ship.

Regardless, I'm sorry that he can't be with you anymore. For whatever reason it is, I'm sure that you benefitted from this friendship and maybe one day you'll be able to actually talk to him about it. Until then, look on the time spent and the experiences shared together with a smile and be thankful that you met someone that influenced you in a positive way. Friendships and relationships come and go, I believe this is part of the circle of life. The only thing that's left is the time spent together and the beautiful memories, these won't pass. And in the end, this is what life is all about, I believe.
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Lt. Voss

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Post Mon Apr 11, 2016 10:53 am

Re: Need a friend?

On the other end of the spectrum, yet equally as absurd, perhaps he came down with a rather sudden and out-of-place case of paranoia? I've experienced something similar (though not to the same extent as you, as the person I know was neither a very good friend nor were we in such a high-stakes and high-stress environment), and a friend of the friend told me he was later diagnosed with paranoia. It could be depression, and while I'd hesitate to say I know all about it, as someone who's gone through it I can recognise some similarities.

But all that aside, I know what it's like to lose friends to distance, illness, and outright loss, but I cannot imagine what you might be going through, as everyone's different with these sorts of things. Do you have his phone number, cell or home? Or his email address? If you do I'd suggest contacting him some time from now, not too soon, but not years and years. Perhaps a few months? Maybe that'll give him the time he needs to calm down a notch and perhaps explain to you his reasoning, if there is any.

Sorry I don't have any super feel-good philosophy to share with you. I'm a bit boring in that regard. Regardless, I hope you keep on trucking, and don't let this keep you down for too long.
Come check out my stuff if you want. Love to hear back from people.
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ViruS

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Post Tue Apr 12, 2016 3:42 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Once upon a time nearing my graduation at high school my mother actually recommended me to become a psychologist. Do you see any possibility of me being a good psychologist considering that I literally had 1 to 2 "friends" at a time throughout my whole life?
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Alex

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Post Tue Apr 12, 2016 8:32 pm

Re: Need a friend?

Why not. I think it's not about what kind of prerequisites you have but rather about what you'd really like to do and what you'd be comfortable with doing, is it?
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Fox_One

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Location: Orion Arm, Milky Way Galaxy, ~7.6 kiloparsecs from galactic center

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Post Tue Apr 12, 2016 10:57 pm

Re: Need a friend?

I've been worrying
- that my time is a little unclear
I've been worrying
- that I'm losing the ones I hold dear
I've been worrying
- that we all
- - live our lives
- - - in the confines of fear
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Axis

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Post Sun May 15, 2016 11:43 am

Re: Need a friend?

Any update as to how your friend is doing?
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1LordAnubis

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Post Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:43 am

Re: Need a friend?

I have observed schizophrenia develop in someone I previously knew to be fine.... they later went missing not to be found again... that, however, developed i want to say around 20 yrs old..... I haven't personally seen anything onset at a later age besides alzheimers.... where one day my neighbor didn't recognize who I was. I do know there is a portion of the brain that controls fear, and some people are born without it..... some people tend to be emotional and project their fear/emotion toward something, and it's impossible to change their opinion. Unfortunately I don't think I know enough psychological /brain chemistry wise to make an informed response to this case... That being said, there are many factors that can play a role.... having kids/etc at home can definitely trigger some emotional response, and any time your brain revisits a memory it gets altered in some way..... emotions are also just as real in your imagination so there is the potential paranoia.... I've known ppl who are paranoid, and over time they let their imaginations get the better of them, getting even more paranoid.
Was your friend deployed for an extended period of time (more than usual)? ... also bipolar ppl benefit from the minerals present at the beach..... it could be as simple as a mineral deficiency

When I first read your post it really sounded like what happened with someone I knew who developed schizophrenia...... they were really paranoid, even said one time that I had a demon in me and some stuff.... they started randomly laughing or would say something random to someone that wasn't there during a board game.... I got em a poweraid 4 yrs ago and nobody has seen him since.... 10 years ago, when I first knew him, he was pretty normal albeit a bit paranoid..... this wasn't something that developed until later. I believe he did attempt to cut himself, and he was living out his car prior to missing.

On a somewhat related note, this past year I ran into someone else living in their car... a pretty cool car enthusiast with quite a backstory, basically this past year I helped him with his car and he helped me with mine.... spent alot of time at the salvage yard &etc, cool guy, went through 3 vehicles, I own the one prior to the one he used to travel back... he's from washington state, was trying to head back there.... we got a subaru from lynchburg, va, used walkie talkies on the way back.... about the time he was to head back ... dec15, his crankshaft pulley fell off after going through the trails on our nearby game reserve.... he also used to go out to fort bragg to the trails the APCs travel on.... We found out the previous owner put a ls1 bolt in the crankshaft, found one of the correct size/thread pitch from a mustang strut/control arm, and stuck it on there with some washers/jbweld. Unfortunately, probably due to not using red loctite, it got loose and the motor died on the trails 2 weeks later.... when he was about ready to make the excursion back to WA. Long story short, we rebuilt the motor for about $100 and he made it back to WA about a month ago. Back to doing stuff alone...
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-George Bernard Shaw


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